steps backward, bringing me forward
you can view, touch, and purchase this painting at the Grand Bohemian Hotel Gallery downtown, chs. for out of state sales- contact me using the contact form below.
20 x 16. water/ink/acrylic/oil. set in a hand built silver painted wood frame.
the staircase I immediately saw while creating this painting made my think of all the times recently that I’ve been cruel to myself thinking I’m going backwards.
backtracking into old behaviors. diving head first into who I used to be. it scared me, to my core. i was terrified I was going to be set back into my anxious mind and victim mentality. i quickly realized this is a chance to change the old narrative. i was triggered and acted in a way that used to make me feel safe and nurtured and comforted. I used to not be able to realize why I was behaving the way I was until it was too late and I had backtracked into a dark state. the quicker I see my old behaviors, the quicker I am conscious in what I can do to change and use my new coping skills.
so stepping backward while in this healing process needs to happen. i hated how it made me feel. i was aware of what was going on and what triggered me. i was able to see where I was wrong and apologize to myself for acting out in a way that doesn’t serve me anymore. healing isn’t linear and stepping backwards needs to happen to be able to see how far you’ve already walked.