white noise

24x47x3 acrylic, oil, plaster, concrete, mica pearl, ground crystal quartz, spray paints, and wood pieces. 

“To be free is to be capable of thinking one’s own thoughts – not the thoughts merely of the body, or of society, but thoughts generated by one’s deepest, most original, most essential and spiritual self, one’s individuality.” -Rudolph Steiner 

Dear Connor,

   Life is a journey to discover what you want to be and create yourself with that image in mind. Finding who you are often comes with finding out who you don't want to be. if you know what you don't want to be that is more directly motivational than knowing what you want to be because you've experienced it before enough to know you don't want to be it. that motivation can come in the form of a voice.

   There are so many voices in the world that can scream at you "You need to care about this!" "you need to be like that!." Those voices can be persuading in their effort to proselytize, manipulate, or compel you to conform to whatever goal it may be. This can be overwhelming especially if you don't already have your own solid source of motivation. there is also a voice that is much more subtle but far more effective. the one in your head. This voice can be damning or it can be freeing. the best way to have it be freeing is by being aware of it. If you know that the voice is coming from you, is it coming from the version of yourself that you want to be or the version that you don't want to be? If the voice is coming from a version of yourself that you have been before and do not want to be, do not conform to what it is telling you. see it as noise from the version of you that is dying with every unanswered call to action.

   The world is a noisy place. Your world is a noisy place. Not always. After having been so many things that you know you don't want to be anymore, those voices from your past self are withering away. There's a voice that has been getting louder and louder. Listen to it. Its calling you to the versions of yourself that are more authentically you. The versions of yourself that have always been there that you've tried to listen to but were too distracted. You can react to these voices now! They will tell you how to do all the things that you were meant to do that bring you joy. They will tell you what it feels like to be your purest self, to allow those voices that bring harmony to the best parts of yourself.

   Listen to the voices that tell you to create art and music and tell you about the freedom and joy of expressing yourself this way. Listen to the voices that tell you it's okay to be on your own path wherever that may be. Listen to the voices that tell you it's never too late to be the things you've always felt you could be. Listen to the voices that tell you to be brave, to be determined, to be compassionate, to be understanding, to be kind, to be firm, to have resolve, to have certitude. listen to the voices that show you love, that show you how to be the best advocate for your own well-being. Most of all listen to the voice that tells you to be more yourself. 

with love, Connor.