“Boundaries”. 24 x 30 oil on canvas.
I’ve lived in a gray area most of my life. An area in which I didn’t feel like I had the voice to speak in black, white or absolutes. There were times in my life I thought it was just easier saying yes. I didn’t know I could say no without consequences. Meaning consequences emotionally or physically. I’ve never been shown or displayed boundaries. I was never taught what a boundary was or what it was like to have respect for yourself enough to be able to create a set of rules for how you were going to be treated and not allowing anything less than that. I realized I was in the gray area when I said yes. My intuition yelling to make a decision that was true to my highest self. Today my goal is gaining self respect and dignity that I’m planting within myself and working so hard to water. This painting is the merging inner conflict experiencing two voices fighting at once, the old version of myself that says yes no matter what the consequence, and the new version of myself learning to stay true to my boundaries allowing myself freedom from bondage of the grey giving power to black and white.